"I've created a monster. I've got a side of me no one should see. So quit stalling, pack your bags, keep walking away. Your life leads to destruction. We're not the same. I have given everything...It's like speaking in tongues to all of you now. When will we ever get what we deserve?"
I couldn't find a more suitable song at the moment. iTunes shuffle has just worked it's magic tonight/this morning. I'd like to say I'm not in my right state of mind as I write this because I'm pretty deprived of sleep and food, but the truth is this is the only state in which I see with the utmost clarity. Therefore, I feel it is my duty to as accurately as possible, convey the disdain I hold for you. Not you as individuals, but you as a society...and maybe a few individuals. Don't get me wrong, many of you are marvelous people in your own respects, but at the same time you are members of a society that glorifies all the disgusting attributes of humanity. Liars, cheats, gluttons, and vagrants to name a few. To be honest, this wasn't about society as a whole, it was about a wide group of individuals I've directly come into contact with over many years. Ignorance is the common theme here. Ignorance of the true meaning of words and ignorance of the application they were designed. (Geez, here I go again on the subject of love. At least this time it isn't meant to be predominantly romantic.)
I've been on the receiving end of the phrase "I love you" many times in my life. Of course we all understand it varies in definition due to the parties involved, but the concept should be pretty uniform right? Pfft. To love someone, you must first know them. How many of you have said you've loved me and gotten to know me? The real me. (This excludes a select few who have, or are in the process of doing so.) Do you know my favorite color? What I like to do in my spare time? What I'm researching? Who my closest friends are? Any of my relatives? What about my taste in music or food or literature? Do you know how to really pick me up when I'm down and not just offer a quick patch job for what ails me? Have you ever even attempted to read and comprehend anything I've written? I'm sure it'd give you the basis for most of those questions. If not, then what do you really know about me? Probably nothing significant at all. Most of all do you have any idea what rattles me to the core or even what I find mildly infuriating?
Now ask yourself who are you to speak on my behalf. Who are you to utter your ignorant, judgmental babble about those I interact with. And then claim on some level to love or 'care for' me? Please. Spare me. The brain power it takes to register, then pick apart your very role in my life could be spent elsewhere. Are you even aware that any and everything that I say is to be held with the utmost confidence and unless you say otherwise, because of your own interactions I do not deem your information confidential? After all it's only a matter of time before you spread whatever information you've given me elsewhere. Thereby meaning if I say something before you do, I'm not entirely at fault because I've analyzed your character. While when I choose to divulge information, nine times out of ten, it is to one person and remains that way. My business between me and that individual. The least you can do is 'love' me enough to keep your mouth shut on anything I say unless told otherwise.
Allegedly caring about me does not, and will not, and will never grant you the right to open your mouth about anyone I interact with. Normally I won't say anything, I'll nod and let you say what you must, but deep down I'm developing a degree of contempt for you. I don't recall giving you the right to voice your opinion on matters concerning me and other people. If you're looking out for my best interest (which is unlikely) then maybe you can indicate how you feel. If you wish to voice an opinion based on an observation, then keep quiet because I highly doubt you grasp enough of the situation to speak on it whether you agree or not. In short, and to come off as 'rude' "It's none of your business", whether it's posted online or not. Though the internet is public domain, your input isn't necessary.
For those who I feel do care about me, and I've accepted, I may not agree with what you have to say "but I defend to the death your right to say it." Seems hypocritical does it not? Hypocrisy is the basis of humanity, and henceforth I'm working exponentially harder to feign humanity.
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